function getSaying()
{
currentdate = new Date()
saying = currentdate.getMilliseconds()
saying = saying % 103
switch(saying) {
case 0 : 
return " By the butterfly effect, you hold some responsibility for any event that occurs." 
break 

case 1 : 
return " Spoons and forks are created by man, but sporks are manifestations of pure nature." 
break 

case 2 : 
return " Assume nothing is mundane; life is automatically more perplexing." 
break 

case 3 : 
return " No matter how hard you try, you will never see the invisible truck that will run you over in the street." 
break 

case 4 : 
return " The one thing in life guaranteed to go wrong is Murphy's Law." 
break 

case 5 : 
return " One person cannot make a difference unless someone else notices that difference." 
break 

case 6 : 
return " You can fail yourself, but failing another is not permissible." 
break 

case 7 : 
return " Two years of therapy is equivalent to an hour talk with the right dog." 
break 

case 8 : 
return " You use your tongue for tasting.  Tasting good." 
break 

case 9 : 
return " Fight not to win the battle but to win the war." 
break 

case 10 : 
return " If something you desire that others you love have is denied to you, do not hate that which you desire, but instead embrace your friends' having of it.  Denying something to all is not the answer." 
break 

case 11 : 
return " That which you makes you stronger probably should have killed you, but it didn't." 
break 

case 12 : 
return " Live.  Then die.  In that order.  No exceptions." 
break 

case 13 : 
return " It's amazing how much you can say without actually saying it." 
break 

case 14 : 
return " When all is said and done, being alone in life is better than being chased by an axe-wielding maniac." 
break 

case 15 : 
return " Before telling a joke, check its expiration date." 
break 

case 16 : 
return " Talking to yourself is okay.  Giving yourself the silent treatment because you're mad at yourself is not." 
break 

case 17 : 
return " When rating how well something went, the fact that nothing spontaneously caught on fire is a good thing." 
break 

case 18 : 
return " Be like a blob." 
break 

case 19 : 
return " For good health, be anal about one thing every day." 
break 

case 20 : 
return " Our imaginations house our future, our potential, and our ruin. Make sure your imaginary friends are not your enemies." 
break 

case 21 : 
return " You are not your parents." 
break 

case 22 : 
return " Saving some bread for the future will not work.  You can only eat in the present." 
break 

case 23 : 
return " Everything will be okay in the morning.  Just close your eyes." 
break 

case 24 : 
return " Ask the questions that you have." 
break 

case 25 : 
return " Every king needs his sword." 
break 

case 26 : 
return " Happily ever after is not for the real world.  The stories of your life don't end when the book does." 
break 

case 27 : 
return " A good way to feel superior is to ride an elevator where your floor is higher than everyone else's." 
break 

case 28 : 
return " You are not the hero of some movie, novel, film or story.  You're not the villain either.  You are not even a supporting character for someone else.  You just are." 
break 

case 29 : 
return " People carrying umbrellas need not walk under awnings." 
break 

case 30 : 
return " If it has the word 'uber' in it, it must be good." 
break 

case 31 : 
return " The enemy of 'good' is 'better'" 
break 

case 32 : 
return " Only the present is fixed.  Both the future and the past are mutable in how you look at them." 
break 

case 33 : 
return " You are alive, dangnabbit!" 
break 

case 34 : 
return " If ever in Shangri-La, ask for directions and leave." 
break 

case 35 : 
return " You must always casually conform... at your earliest convenience." 
break 

case 36 : 
return " Never question the cream puff.  " 
break 

case 37 : 
return " If you can build a frickin' dysonsphere, you better be able to do artificial gravity as well." 
break 

case 38 : 
return " Just as cars should allow pedestrians to pass, so should the pedestrians occasionally allow cars to pass." 
break 

case 39 : 
return " If you cut the baby in half, the problem will solve itself." 
break 

case 40 : 
return " Misunderstood words can still hurt once understanding is achieved." 
break 

case 41 : 
return " Digesting one's self, while ecologically friendly, is sociologically damaging." 
break 

case 42 : 
return " If you have a metal fork for a head, stay in bed and indoors on stormy days out of fear of lightning." 
break 

case 43 : 
return " Time is an illusion invented by the Swiss to sell watches." 
break 

case 44 : 
return " The general consensus says that overall, life basically sucks, save the one saving grace that if you didn't have life, you'd be dead. " 
break 

case 45 : 
return " If anyone were to rule the world, it should not be a guy with mismatched socks." 
break 

case 46 : 
return " It can get lonely on a planet with approximately 6,000,000,000 people." 
break 

case 47 : 
return " For a merdog, the wetness of its nose is no indication of the animal's overall health." 
break 

case 48 : 
return " Violating an outline will not result in being smited from above, below, or at sea level." 
break 

case 49 : 
return " Never invade Russia come winter." 
break 

case 50 : 
return " No toil should be without an effect." 
break 

case 51 : 
return " BELIEVE IN LOWERCASE." 
break 

case 52 : 
return " Honesty is the best policy unless you are in a prevarication competition." 
break 

case 53 : 
return " Fear the past that was not yours to help others who walk the path." 
break 

case 54 : 
return " In the land of the freaks, a normal person can be viewed at a sideshow for only a nickel." 
break 

case 55 : 
return " Buying a Brita water filter alone will not save the environment." 
break 

case 56 : 
return " Never make important life decisions when working in a greenhouse in July in Kentucky." 
break 

case 57 : 
return " Before you can compromise, you must be selfish." 
break 

case 58 : 
return " The first step to universal harmony is to kill off the tone-deaf." 
break 

case 59 : 
return " The answer to 'the Chicken or the Egg?' is turtles all the way down." 
break 

case 60 : 
return " Picking up a bundle of straw does not unbreak the camel's back." 
break 

case 61 : 
return " If all it took to fly was a cape, Dracula would not have needed to transform into a bat." 
break 

case 62 : 
return " One can always consider it progress that nowadays, only 50% of marriages end in death." 
break 

case 63 : 
return " It is unwise to get wasted in the afternoon just to take a 15-minute nap." 
break 

case 64 : 
return " All roads lead to Rome, especially those that go out of Rome." 
break 

case 65 : 
return " According to quantum theory, there is always a universe in which you chose to wear the chicken suit." 
break 

case 66 : 
return " Every time you commit a misdeed, you bring your evil twin one step closer to the side of good." 
break 

case 67 : 
return " Life contains a lot of unhappiness; one just needs to make sure it's a bearable unhappiness." 
break 

case 68 : 
return " When making rennet, you might as well make veal." 
break 

case 69 : 
return " To make a difference, one must subtract one number from another." 
break 

case 70 : 
return " If this planet ever becomes a world without borders, geography class will be a snap." 
break 

case 71 : 
return " The pen is mightier than the sword, except when it comes to cutting paper." 
break 

case 72 : 
return " When it comes to removing the 'Do not remove tag' on a pillow, do what a Zen master would do." 
break 

case 73 : 
return " Setting the bar low, when not limbo dancing, is a good thing." 
break 

case 74 : 
return " Cold is an absence; heat is an existence." 
break 

case 75 : 
return " Happiness is cool grass on your belly and a yellow dandelion nearby to eat." 
break 

case 76 : 
return " Sometimes you need a lick on the nose to remind you what's really important in life." 
break 

case 77 : 
return " All views are important to hear because somewhere in the chorus of opinions is the single melody of truth." 
break 

case 78 : 
return " Hindsight is 20/50." 
break 

case 79 : 
return " It is quite hard to spoon a triceratops in a double bed." 
break 

case 80 : 
return " Never go to Hungary in the middle of learning French." 
break 

case 81 : 
return " Always assume sarcasm." 
break 

case 82 : 
return " You can melt in someone's arms, and an ice cube can melt in any oven." 
break 

case 83 : 
return " Never skip out on a date with a godlike being." 
break 

case 84 : 
return " Never stab a person in the back. You'll miss the look of shock and terror on their face." 
break 

case 85 : 
return " Colons are good; everyone should have one." 
break 

case 86 : 
return " Every gift has the potential of paper-cut-inducing wrapping paper." 
break 

case 87 : 
return " I promise." 
break 

case 88 : 
return " In order to make Edward R. Murrow turn over in his grave, one must place his ashes in an hourglass. " 
break 

case 89 : 
return " One may become triumphant upon the acquisition of three elephants." 
break 

case 90 : 
return " God forbid but lecturing might actually be the answer." 
break 

case 91 : 
return " Go ahead and move.  It will help hasten the inevitable heat death of the universe." 
break 

case 92 : 
return " Character limits are anti-British." 
break 

case 93 : 
return " When Thor shows up, it's always deus ex machina." 
break 

case 94 : 
return " From time to time, walk out in the mystical moist night air and look up in perfect silence at the stars. " 
break 

case 95 : 
return " The needs of the bladder outweigh the needs of the few." 
break 

case 96 : 
return " All medication either cures or causes erectile dysfunction.  Some do both." 
break 

case 97 : 
return " Voodoo by proxy is still voodoo." 
break 

case 98 : 
return " Peace, love, and kibble for Susie." 
break 

case 99 : 
return " Salami is a vegetable." 
break 

case 100 : 
return " It is a shame when researchers wait until they have the answer before telling others of the question." 
break 

case 101 : 
return " When nanotechnology is truly viable, vaporware will no longer be an insult." 
break 

case 102 : 
return " For while the answer to whether or a dog has buddha-nature is still unknown, Joshu's cow-nature is certainly a no despite Joshu's moo-ish answer." 
break 

}
}