Mossy Bits -- Autumn 1995 -- page 10

Chiaroscuro

Composed/Recorded by: Brian Michalowski
Artist's Notes: This is a poem I wrote on top of the Tori Amos song, "Bells for Her". (used without permission)


and through the life force 
and there goes her friend 
on her nishiki it's out of time 
and through the portal they can make amends 
hey would you say whatever 
we're blanket friends 

           We sat with the window open
           To let the autumn night in.
           The breeze held your hair behind your gaze
           As I held you with mine.
           Bells for Her drifted over the silence
           Of the trees rustling,
           The piano leaving ripples
           As I sat waiting
           For waves to build
           And break.

and through the walls they made their mudpies
I've got your mind I said
she said I've your voice
I said you don't need my voice girl
you have your own
but you never thought it was enough of

           When you spoke you had strength
           Only to speak.
           I had strength only to listen.
           You said I had given you
           Your old self back.
           I said you gave 
           My new self to me.

           You never did understand
           The games that I ignored
           Or the walls that I walked through.
           I never understood
           The games I still played
           Or the walls I remained behind.

           We were two candles
           Casting each other's shadows.
           The more you flickered 
           The more my shadow weakened.
           The more I flickered
           The steadier you became.

           I never noticed how calm you were
           In the breeze.
           I was too tired from shifting
           To stay the same.
                      
can't stop what's coming
can't stop what is on its way
bells and footfalls and soldiers and dolls
brothers and lovers she and I were
now she seems to be sand under his shoes
there's nothing I can do

           I watched you as you looked
           At the trees in the wind.
           You never did meet my gaze.
           You said my look was too intense
           As if I were trying to see through you.
           You knew of course that I was.
           I asked why you seemed so distant.
           The window caught your reply:
           There are many kinds of distance.

and now I speak to you
are you in there?
you have her face and her eyes
but you are not her

           I asked when the distance would leave
           But you did not shift your gaze.
           When you said Don't hold your breath
           I wondered why I felt                       
           I had run out of air.
           We were two candles
           Casting each other's shadows
           And I did not know 
           My shadow any more.

can't stop
can't stop loving
can't stop loving
can't stop what is on its way
and I see it coming
and it's on its way