OK, you asked for it.

 - Brett.



Kraft Dinner and Fried Balonie
==============================

Back when I was a kid there were those times when mom was out and dad
had to cook.  Sometimes it was an omelette (with a dash of beer), or
hamburgers (with a dash of beer).  But my favoritest of dad's dishes
had to be good old Kraft Dinner and fried balonie!  Haute cuisine at
its finest.  I'd suggest a wine vintage to accompany it, but I was too
young to drink.

Ingredients
-----------

  - 1 box of Kraft Dinner (The original, bright-orange kind is best...
white cheddar and alfredo are better solo, but for this recipe you
want the original.  Avoid the "deluxe" kind at all costs.)
  - milk and butter for the above
  - a few slices of balonie
  - a little oil

Instructions
------------

Prepare the KD according to the instructions on the box.  Don't
overcook; it's better to have it a little al dente than mush.  While
the pasta boils, fry up the balonie in a pan with the pan-greasing
substance of your choice.  Make a cut or two in the balonie so that it
doesn't curl up too much.

Options
-------

OK, actually, I haven't eaten this in, like, fifteen years.  Having
been vegetarian for six years I thought my fried-balonie-eating days
were over.  Then I found this great vegetarian ham stuff you can get
in Chinese vegetarian stores!  It's quite fancy and expensive, and can
be used to make fine Buddhist delicacies.  But if you slice it up and
pan-fry, it's just like fried balonie!!  Enjoy the yin of Eastern
meatless technology with yang of Western cheese-like stuff.  The ham
comes in a thick, sausage-like chunk and lasts forever in the
freezer.  So now when I want a blast from the past and only have ten
minutes to cook, there's always KD and fried vegetarian ham.